It was a warm summers evening, things were just normal, except there was a sense of urgency in the air. An urgency to make everything stop, to make the hours of this evening stop ticking by. In the morning we would be facing a whole new normal, the first day of this new adventure of being a FIFO bound family. But for right now, we were trying to put that to the back of our thoughts. For right now we would concentrate on this moment.
Today Mr Four pointing to our world globe asked me where his daddy was. After a few spins, and a few guesses of here, and here and a few answers of “no son” that’s Russia, or that’s Switzerland, or that’s Ethiopia, we finally found where his daddy was. Placing a gold star over his daddies ‘work place’ he then asked me why daddy had to go away for a long, long, long time?. I knew he would ask me one day, and I thought It would be a few more months down the track, so that I could think of a more kid friendly, understandable answer. But I told him the truth. Sometimes we have to have a little bit of hard, to have a lot of easy. I don’t think he really got it, and I don’t think it really altered his day, but it got me thinking. Why did I send your daddy away?
Three months ago, my husband sat quietly in the car staring at his children in the rear view mirror as we took our first long drive to our first airport drop off. We tried to keep the conversation light, and talk to our four year old about all the fun things we would do when daddy got home, but in the end Mr Four and the baby were both fast asleep at the very moment that my husband had to say goodbye. I watched as he kissed both of their heads with tiny beads of his own tears dropping on their cheeks. At that moment I thought the same thing. Why am I sending your daddy away?
When I married my husband years ago we were over the moon, crazy in love. We only wanted to be with one another, we didn’t care about anything else and only had time for each other. Seven years, two children, a world of responsibilities and a very hectic lifestyle later has meant that has had to change.
If you had told me on my wedding day all those years ago, that one day I would be living by myself with our two children almost 90% of the time, while my husband worked hundreds of miles away and we would only spend 84days of 365days a year with each other I would have told you where to go. But that is our reality, and it is the reality for so many other mothers and families that I know – it has some what become a new normal.